Dearest Jules, Have a HAPPY, Happy Birthday! When you get a chance, could you ask Dorothy to make me some Pea Soup?Thanks... Love, Cheryl
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Red Dog Saloon
Tata
Dear Tata
We thought a great gift for your 86th Birthday would be to set up a website devoted to you. On this site you will find special messages from members of the family and some pictures we wanted to share. We know how much you love emailing things to everyone. So I figured that you would enjoy sending this site to everyone you know so you can brag about all the great things your family has said to you.
I could probably write an entire book, or fill a 90 minute audio tape talking about reasons why you are one of my favorite people in the whole world. You have always been and continue to be one of the most influential people in my life. A lot of times I think to myself "What would Grandpa do?" What would Tata say?" "I know exactly which joke grandpa would tell" or "Why the hell did La Russa go with a lefty in that situation?" From the way you interact with people and family to the way you make everyone laugh and be happy, you are THE BEST!!!
Happy Birthday and enjoy your website!
Love,
Daniel and everyone who thinks you are THE BEST!!!
June 28, 2008
P.S. This site is very much a work in progress. We will continue to update it with more notes and pictures.
I could probably write an entire book, or fill a 90 minute audio tape talking about reasons why you are one of my favorite people in the whole world. You have always been and continue to be one of the most influential people in my life. A lot of times I think to myself "What would Grandpa do?" What would Tata say?" "I know exactly which joke grandpa would tell" or "Why the hell did La Russa go with a lefty in that situation?" From the way you interact with people and family to the way you make everyone laugh and be happy, you are THE BEST!!!
Happy Birthday and enjoy your website!
Love,
Daniel and everyone who thinks you are THE BEST!!!
June 28, 2008
P.S. This site is very much a work in progress. We will continue to update it with more notes and pictures.
Gramps and Daniel
Red Dog Saloon
Jokes Section
Some Grandpa jokes for you From Lila, Sam, Mariah and Juan.
An old man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was crying and at times screaming at the top of his lungs.
As the old gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him speaking in a soft voice..."We are almost done, Albert..Try not to cry, Albert...Life will get better, Albert..."As he approached the checkout stand, he carefully brushed the toddler's tears from his eyes and said again,"Try not to cry, Albert...We will be home soon, Albert..."As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry as a young woman in line behind him said, "Sir, I think it is wonderful how sweet you are being to your little Albert."The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying, "Miss, my grandson's name is John...I 'm Albert.....................................
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Little Jimmy was studying for an American history test when his Grandpa came by.He looked up at his Grandpa and said, "When you were in school, you had it easy. Back then, American history was considered current events."
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?"
"Terrific, wonderful menus."
"And the nursing?"
"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
"No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge.
"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"
"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.
He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.
After a while he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 20 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 50 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for five full minutes!
Eventually, he even started putting potatoes in the sacks.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
A Jewish family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. Unfortunately, all the Jewish facilities were completely full so they had to put him in a Catholic home. After a few weeks in the Catholic facility, they came to visit their grandpa.
"How do you like here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'". There is a judge here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still call him 'Your Honor'". And there's a physician here that is 90 years old. He hasn't practiced medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor"'. And me...I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The F***ing Jew."
This one isn’t a grandpa joke but think you’ll appreciate it.
The Perks of Being 80 & Over
· Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
· In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
· No one expects you to run into a burning building.
· People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
· There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
· Things you buy now won't wear out.
· You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
· You can live without sex but not without glasses.
· You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.
· You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
· You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
· You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
· You sing along with elevator music.
· Your eyes won't get much worse.
· Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
· Your joints are a more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.
· Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
· Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
· You can have a healthy sex life well into your later years.Of course, that's assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked!
An old man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was crying and at times screaming at the top of his lungs.
As the old gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him speaking in a soft voice..."We are almost done, Albert..Try not to cry, Albert...Life will get better, Albert..."As he approached the checkout stand, he carefully brushed the toddler's tears from his eyes and said again,"Try not to cry, Albert...We will be home soon, Albert..."As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry as a young woman in line behind him said, "Sir, I think it is wonderful how sweet you are being to your little Albert."The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying, "Miss, my grandson's name is John...I 'm Albert.....................................
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Little Jimmy was studying for an American history test when his Grandpa came by.He looked up at his Grandpa and said, "When you were in school, you had it easy. Back then, American history was considered current events."
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?"
"Terrific, wonderful menus."
"And the nursing?"
"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
"No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge.
"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"
"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.
He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.
After a while he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 20 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 50 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for five full minutes!
Eventually, he even started putting potatoes in the sacks.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
A Jewish family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. Unfortunately, all the Jewish facilities were completely full so they had to put him in a Catholic home. After a few weeks in the Catholic facility, they came to visit their grandpa.
"How do you like here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'". There is a judge here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still call him 'Your Honor'". And there's a physician here that is 90 years old. He hasn't practiced medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor"'. And me...I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The F***ing Jew."
This one isn’t a grandpa joke but think you’ll appreciate it.
The Perks of Being 80 & Over
· Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
· In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
· No one expects you to run into a burning building.
· People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
· There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
· Things you buy now won't wear out.
· You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
· You can live without sex but not without glasses.
· You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.
· You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
· You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
· You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
· You sing along with elevator music.
· Your eyes won't get much worse.
· Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
· Your joints are a more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.
· Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
· Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
· You can have a healthy sex life well into your later years.Of course, that's assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked!
No comments:
Post a Comment